I recently got married. As with many other couples our age (we’re both 29-year-old millennials), my husband and I made sure to have practical conversations about the life we want to build together before officially tying the knot. That included our finances, household responsibilities, and kids. We both agreed we wouldn’t actively try to have kids.

As a pre-teen, I thought I wanted kids. I had a list of names I wanted to give my hypothetical future children — although many of them were as ridiculous as “Celery.” My silly young self thought it sounded good if devoid of its actual meaning.

However, growing up made me realize that raising kids is not something I’d want to do because it entails a lot more than just naming them — I’d have to feed them, send them to school, and make sure they grow in a comfortable environment. All these things cost a lot of money, energy, and mental strength.

While I didn’t grow up poor, my family isn’t rich either. We just had enough to get by. It was only when my brother and I finished college that we, as a family, started to afford to go out on weekends and treat ourselves with life’s little pleasures.

Those little pleasures are just a small part of the long list I have for not wanting kids. My reasons range from economic to psychological, and it’s something that I had openly shared only with my husband and my closest friends. It’s something that I’ve thought long and hard about, but I haven’t dared to explain it in detail to anyone else because of societal pressures.

As it turns out, my story isn’t really unique. There is a growing number of people my age (millennials and Gen Zs) who have adopted the dual income, no kids (DINK) lifestyle in recent years.

A positive look on the DINK lifestyle

To put it simply, DINKs refer to couples who are voluntarily childless. The term was reportedly coined in 1987 by a Los Angeles Times article referring to “baby-boom couples who work for wages and, so far, don’t have children.”

With TikTok, the term had a resurgence with users posting content about #DINKlife and the benefits of being child-free in a struggling economy. I’m not gonna lie, these types of content personally appealed to me to the point that I may have liked numerous posts about it appearing on my TikTok feed.

For Filipino millennials and Gen Zs, the DINK lifestyle is primarily associated with positive sentiments — at least based on an AI-assisted focus group discussion conducted by data forensics company The Nerve, in partnership with Rappler.

The Nerve introduced Synth, an AI-powered conversation assistant that helped facilitate a live online FGD, to discuss the DINK lifestyle. The pilot run in June had 20 participants, majority of which are Gen Zs (8) and millennials (8).

It’s an economic thing

Our findings at The Nerve showed that the Philippine economy is a major contributor to this growing positive sentiment toward the DINK lifestyle.

Must Read

Recent years’ economic woes made Filipinos want kids less – study

A study commissioned by the Commission on Population and Development found that more Filipino couples were already considering postponing having children before COVID-19, and the decision was then reinforced by the economic downturn caused by the COVID-19 pandemic.

In our previous Decoded piece written by Gaby Baizas, she explained how Gen Z workers are increasingly becoming stressed about making and saving enough money to afford the lives they want to live in this economy. I am not a Gen Z, but I strongly relate to this.

Expert Speaks

[DECODED] Are you a Gen Z worker with money problems? You’re not alone.

Which is why I wasn’t surprised when The Nerve’s findings showed that the respondents found the DINK lifestyle as an “elevated” lifestyle that would result in more freedom in finances, career, and health.

Of all the responses gathered by Synth, 19% talked about financial stability, making it the most mentioned concern about raising a child. This is followed by societal pressure (17%) caused by cultural norms, and the DINK lifestyle (14%) as an attractive alternative to parenthood.

In particular, the Gen Z participants associated the DINK lifestyle with improved financial stability and career focus.

More than just money: It’s also about readiness

Money sure is the top concern, but other reasons for considering the DINK lifestyle also cover other factors, such as overall readiness, career development, and prioritization of health.

In contrast to Gen Zs, millennial participants shared that they feel pressure from friends and family to have children.

The millennials highlighted the expectations they face in building a traditional family, but they believe that parenthood should be for those who are truly capable of supporting a child’s growth and development.

The discussions showed that while male participants across generations identified strongly with financial responsibility, female participants were more concerned about balancing child-bearing, achieving personal goals, and overall health — on top of financial stability.

The whole idea is not exclusive to women. The Nerve’s findings also showed that unmarried couples view the DINK lifestyle positively because they value the freedom to prioritize their career growth and financial stability over having children.

These results strongly resonate with me, a newlywed millennial working a full-time job. It can’t be helped if others disapprove or call it selfish. At least with these discussions, we can try to explain. – Rappler.com

The Nerve’s Synth is an AI-powered conversation assistant that helps you conduct and analyze meaningful conversations fast and at scale. If you’re interested in working with Nerve, send an email to hello@thenerve.co.

Decoded is a Rappler series that explores the challenges and opportunities that come with living in transformative times. It is produced by The Nerve, a data forensics company that enables changemakers to navigate real-world trends and issues through narrative & network investigations. Taking the best of human and machine, we enable partners to unlock powerful insights that shape informed decisions. Composed of a team of data scientists, strategists, award-winning storytellers, and designers, the company is on a mission to deliver data with real-world impact.